REDEFINED

Ever felt like packing all your belongings, buying a one way ticket to the furthest corner of the earth and figuring it out from there? Well, i did and before you accuse me of going through a mid-life crisis, let me give you the whole story. Just like many other stories, this is a story of a boy and a girl. I never quite believed in love, to be honest, at least not the fairy tale type where boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and live happily ever after. I always thought of marriage as a contract, two consenting adults, choosing to be lonely together, till death or divorce do them apart (hey, its the world we live in).

I met this “boy” in the way i meet any other friend. We grew close and before we knew what hit us, we were exchanging the three magic words. I might not have been a believer but i knew what it was when i felt it and lets just say mother nature turned me into a believer. I will spare you all the glory details because from the intro you can already guess this is not a happily ever after kind of story. Fast forward…

I know why people call it falling in love, its romantic when there is someone to catch you but the minute they let go and you hit the ground, falling in love isn’t so appealing. Being a “love pessimist” i guess part of me was always waiting for the day it would all crush and burn but for a while it was amazing! I got so caught up in the magic of it that i let my guard down. I was in complete bliss. Love needs work, i didn’t know that and when a few things started going south here and there, i got scared.

What do you do when you are scared? you run! And run i did. I figured if i’m the one to end it, it wouldn’t hurt as much. Well, point of information ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t matter who pulls the trigger, it still hurts as a *censored* I never thought a heartbreak could literary physically hurt. Again, glory details, lets just say i’m not too proud to say that i cried about it.

Anyway, back to the moral of the story, i learnt to love, i experienced pure love and i lost my love through my own insecurities and it hurt like a *censored*, it still hurts but i will open my heart again to it. Love is a beautiful thing and i have redefined my belief about it. Sure sometimes it will break you to pieces but mostly it will light up your world. I’m not afraid to love again, if anything, i wont accept any relationship that offers less. My heart may have been broken but there is nothing that time cant heal nor love mend.

But until love finds me, maybe i will get that one way ticket and redefine some other aspects of life as i care for my broken heart…(i’m accepting donations) ;-)