I read somewhere recently that we always go back to
our first loves and it got my wheels spinning....I couldn't help but put my
love life in that perspective and I realized that maybe there was some truth in
that. I could be wrong but in my case, turned out to be pretty accurate so
maybe you can tell me after I tell you the story of us.
The year was 2011, the place was college... we were in
the same accounting class....I was young, smart, pretty and very jovial. He was
smart, tall, dark and handsome but mostly kept to himself and his inner circle.
So being the curious little thing I was, I just had to get to know him....so I
borrowed his notebook one day and that is how we got to talking and becoming
friends. He was a great guy I soon learnt and we became good friends. I was
dating someone else at the time so I never really had an interest in anything
more than that at the time. One day he asked me out for coffee and we had a really
interesting conversation about life in general but that day, I won’t lie ...something
clicked in me and I never quite saw him the same after. My interest was piqued
and so was his from what I gathered but I was already taken so neither of us
really made a move.
Fast forward, I got into campus and he flew out for
his studies and we lost touch for a while. About a year and a half later, he
reached out to me and we got close immediately like the last one and a half
years were merely just a day. We would talk all night till the sun came up....I
kid you not. He became my best friend and soon after that my boyfriend. I was
in love. Have you ever loved someone that when you look at them you can see
your whole future together? That is how much we fell for each other. No one
existed for me but him. We had it all planned out, I would become his Mrs. and
we would have three adorable babies and live happily ever after and it seemed
easy enough too. His mom loved me, my mom loved him....I mean everything was
working for us.
What happened you ask? Life happened. He was still
studying abroad, he would come for the holidays but be gone for months after
that and the long distance put a strain on our relationship. I was young and
felt like I was missing out on a big world out there so I ended it. Broke his
heart, broke my heart too but I never allowed myself to feel it because what
right did I have of feeling heartbroken when I’m the one who ended it. So I
threw myself into something else to distract me from the loss I was feeling.
And so came my second love.
The relationship never quite started on the right foot
but it worked for a while until it didn’t anymore. All the while my first love
was still in my life. We were back to being best friends....we talked about
anything and everything. We would talk for hours almost every day. Then I got
pregnant and it got a bit more complicated for us. I have never had a harder
conversation in life than when I told my first love that I was having a baby by
the other love of my life. It felt like a great betrayal of the love we shared
and the life we had planned together. Naturally, it had its toll on us and we
grew apart. I had a family, I focused my time and love on them.
A baby down the line, my relationship turned sour and
I was hurting, we seemed to fight more and more as time went by. He stopped
being present so I left. It broke my heart. It wasn't easy after that trying to
adjust to my new life as a single mother. Starting over was hard, I cried for
many nights and I promised myself that I was not going to let anyone else in.
What I didn't realize is that someone was already in coz he never left. He was
always in my heart. We reconnected shortly after I left my second love and as
always....it was like we were never apart. We got close. He was there for me,
he helped me get through what was the hardest time in my life. We were back to
being best friends again.
After a few weeks of long conversations on the phone
and sharing our hopes and dreams….we rekindled something so strong, we couldn’t
ignore it. I felt it but I was not going to be the one to mention it, I broke
his heart once before and things were much more complicated this time…. I kept it to
myself. A few months down the line, he told me that he loved me and that he
never stopped loving me and I was “the one” for him. I just couldn’t contain
myself when he asked me to be his love. Life gave us a second chance and we are
not going to let it pass us by. Seven months down the line, still feels like we
just got together the other day….honey moon phase. I got back with my first
love, a few years later, and I’d like to think that if we survived the baby
daddy drama, we can survive anything. Watching him with my son just warms my
heart, you wouldn’t know that he wasn’t his son by the way he adores him and
the amazing bond they share.
Moral of the story, you never forget your first love
and if it’s meant to be, you’ll always find your way back. Sometimes the timing
just isn’t right even if the love is. I’ll let you know when the wedding
is….hahaha.
