Of Men and Dogs

Just to be clear on the topic, to avoid wasting anyone's time, this is about cheaters. The one thing every man should know, most of the time, we know you are cheating....we may not be sure with whom but we know when and how long. I'm not one to be self-righteous because I have been unfaithful one or two times in a relationship here or there in the past but just to be clear, there are situations you are not allowed to cheat in!

Let me clarify, there are three types of relationships; 1. The relationship for temporary companionship,  2. The relationship of convenience,  and 3. The relationship for the long haul. In the first, one or both of you may be in the relationship just to avoid loneliness and to not be alone for the double dates, road trips etc. The second is pretty much self explanatory; it’s for one or both of your conveniences. The third, you both choose to be together for the long-term. What you do in the first or second type is none of my business but the third is what I want to discuss. Just to define the parameters, the long-term relationship is 1. One that has been ongoing for two years or more and is headed for a more serious commitment (i.e. marriage) 2. One with a child or a child on the way and is also long-term (just to be clear, a woman having your baby does not a relationship make but if you choose to settle down and start a family then that’s a different story) 3. Where you are living together (voluntarily) and of course marriage goes without saying.

When a man chooses to settle down and says, this is the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with, certain things are expected of this man but the main being keeping it in his pants. Contrary, to popular belief, there isn’t a scarcity of real men who actually do this with utmost loyalty. On the other hand, there is the deplorable kind that can’t be loyal to his woman if his life depended on it. Cheating is never an accident but a choice (might not be a smart one but it is a choice nonetheless).

There is nothing worse than going from being the other woman to being the main lady. Much as you think you want it, you have to keep in mind that you know too much! You know how it starts, you know how he cheats, the lies he tells when he is doing so (since you were on the other side of that phone call when he made those excuses before) and to make matters worse, you know that his boys know and enable it. When you get to the other side, you become paranoid every time he says he is with the boys or she is just a friend. You were just a friend, doing unspeakable things with him while his main lady stays naive and oblivious. When the tables are turned, it’s not fun being in the dark....

“She is just a friend” he keeps saying but you know better, you see the signs, you've read the texts (you couldn’t help but snoop….FYI, snooping is bad but be sure when you are looking for skeletons, you’ll find them in plenty) and he even has the audacity to have her in the same room as you and she conveniently sits by his side. What do you do then? I'll tell you with certainty that you are dating a dog. There are only 3 ways that could go; 1. You confront him, if he admits to it, well what you do with that is up to your discretion but on the other hand, if he denies it and you are certain then on to the 2nd one 2. You leave him 3. You cheat as well (tit for tat is a fair game after all and it makes for a good distraction because let’s face it, if you haven’t left him....its coz you can’t help but still love him) 4. Emotionally check out.....but then the relationship becomes just a show, a shell of what it was which is just a waste of both your times but if you have your reasons then have at it.

Men, don’t cheat and if you can’t help yourself.... at least have the decency to end the relationship first. Don’t lie to yourself that you still love her when you are busy dipping your stick in every pool you can because that is straight out bull! I believe if you love your woman, you will be a man and put her first, stay true to her and keep it in your pants. If she is not enough to satisfy you, then leave, get one who will or if one doesn't do it for you, don’t commit, there isn't a scarcity of women who love “no strings attached” too (take it for from a woman) The biggest flaw I’d say with our species (women) is that regardless of how much of a ratchet or wild girl you are/were, when we love…we love hard and stupid! (Stupid because we give it all up and stay true to one man even when he is the king of team mafisi)

Ladies, there are men and then there are dogs….just pray you got a man. J