Through my son's eyes

As an adult, sometimes life deals you blows and you learn to take them and carry on. As a parent, when life deals you blows you pray that your kids don’t feel them and that they never take the same hits. Being a mother has changed me in more ways than I imagined it would. I look at the world in two different ways, as is through my own eyes and through my son’s eyes as he sees it. My biggest wish and what I strive to give my child is the freedom to always see the world as he does now….full of wonder and excitement and unlimited possibility. I know it’s not possible to shield my son from the horrors and unfairness of the world; in fact I wouldn’t want to because he cannot change what he does not know and it will take more than our generation to change the world but I do hope that he does not take life’s hard blows along the way.

When he looks at me with his big white innocent eyes and smiles his toothless heart-warming smile, I can’t help but smile back. He is the embodiment of love, happiness, hope, joy and peace in my life. His tiny hands on my face….even though sometimes full of saliva just makes me smile. His full chubby cheeks, his light brown smooth skin….yes he got my skin color and maybe nose(not sure about that one), his father’s genes were stronger since he got his father’s height and most facial attributes. I just love everything about him….he is perfection in my eyes. I know when he looks at me he sees the same thing I do when I look at him; he sees of love, happiness, hope, joy, peace and a sense of security. I hope he sees that when he looks at me for the rest of his life (I know in his teenage years he might feel differently but hopefully after that phase I’ll always be his safe haven)

I want my son’s world to never feel incomplete, though his father and I never really worked out; I want him to feel that he still has a family in us…. that’s why despite our differences, I would never stand in between him and his father and their relationship. I would want him to understand that sometimes people just aren’t meant to be or want different things at different stages in their lives and that’s okay but that doesn’t change the fact that we love him and he always has a family in us no matter what.

Sometimes I watch him sleep, that beautiful, peaceful and fulfilling sleep…. how I miss that! That stress-free sleep you enjoy when you have nothing to worry about, nothing to lose sleep over and no nightmares haunting you in your sleep. I pray that he will never have sleepless nights and that if he is to lose sleep let it be because of love….because he is overwhelmed with love for that special girl that might be my daughter-in-law someday and not for heartbreak.

Through my son’s eyes….the world is beautiful and full of color. There is so much to see and experience and the wonder never dies. I want to start seeing the world as my son sees it. Focus on the good in life, spend as much time as I can with family and the friends that count and not lose sight of all the good in my life by focusing on the blows I have been dealt…..and man have I been dealt many! But when everything calms down and everything is right in your world….when you are the happiest and most content, that’s the world you should strive to create for your children and the generations that follow. And we are all parents even before we have our own children because when we see a homeless child begging in the streets….we feel for that child, all the same.